Saturday, November 24, 2012

Well, here I am again, after a bit of a break.  I'm not sure what to do with a blog anymore.  I don't live anyplace exciting and I don't do anything exciting; days just go by one after the other in a very ordinary fashion.

It's been nearly 6 months since I returned from Taiwan.  Sometimes already it seems like I was never there.  In another 6 months I shall have to move again.  We rented our current house because it was in the school district we wanted and it was the only house in this district that we could find.  We knew when we took it that it could only be for 12 months but it accomplished our objective and so we took it.  I am having trouble with the idea that we must move again so soon.  The funny thing is in the past we have bought and sold 2 houses each in approximately 18 months, plus separately I have owned 2 other houses for about that time.  None of those moves bothered me.  I don't know if the difference is my age or the fact that I didn't know when I moved in to any of those previous homes that I would move out so fast, but I am certainly reacting differently this time.  It's not that I will hate to leave.  This house has some wonderful qualities and we are enjoying it, but there are things about it that are not ideal and I will happy to try to correct those things with our next choice.  I just seem to feel like I want to put roots down now, but I certainly cannot do that.  Oh well, I suppose as the time draws closer to when I can actually begin looking for a new place my feelings will change.

I spend as much time as I can with my Dad.  I went to his house tonight.  As I walked in I thought of how much it smells like my Mom.  Strange, it seemed to me, that it still smells like Mom.  She has been gone for more than 2 years so how can this be?  But I like it.  It feels like a tangible reminder of her.  I think I still wait for her to come around a corner and welcome me.  I still wish that would happen.

Perhaps this is why I don't write.  I still tend toward the sad, and that is not something anyone wants to read about.  There is some happy.  Perhaps I'll write about that tomorrow.