There are 4 things my body requires: Sleep, water, coffee before 9 a.m. and food. If any one of those things are missing I get a headache. Missing combinations results in monster headaches. Missing all 4 of them? Fo-ged-about-it.

So today I was scheduled for an "Upper GI". I went blissfully to the hospital's radiology department, unaware of what that really was. I knew that by the time it was over I was going to have an horrific headache because I was required to miss, well, 3 of my bodily requirements and the 4th I had also missed due to my own stupidity. Little did I know...

Has anyone out there ever had an Upper GI? I told Eric, and I sincerely mean it, I would rather give birth via cesarean section than have an Upper GI ever again. When you have a c-section you are supplied with loads of pain killers. When you have an Upper GI they send you home with a wish for a good day.

So here's what I ended up with: No sleep, no water, no food, no caffeine, and a tummy loaded full of chemical concoctions. The X-ray technician told me I probably wouldn't want to eat afterward. I thought she meant I would probably be full from all of their delicious concoctions. In hindsight I think she meant "Trust me, you should not eat afterward." Unfortunately, I did not pick up on that innuendo. Having known ahead of time that I would be missing many of the body-critical things, I brought a peanut butter granola bar with me. As soon as I got in the car post-procedure I began gobbling up the granola. My head was throbbing so I thought I should supply my body as quickly as possible with the missing elements. Wrong. Bad choice. Bad choices.

The hospital is probably 10 minutes from home but at times I wasn't sure I would make it. I was feeling AWFUL. When I got home I headed straight to the cupboard with the Excedrin Migraine medicine. Surely that would help. Give it 30 minutes and I should be good as new. Just for good measure I heated up some of Eric's morning coffee, filled it with creamer and took a few sips as I headed for the couch where I planned to wait for the medicine to kick in.

I lay there cursing the donut I had eaten the previous night. (In my "wisdom" I thought I should eat that donut just before going to bed since I wouldn't be able to eat anything after midnight. Fill my tummy up good while I can. Ha! I forgot that I am getting old and eating ANYTHING just before bed, much less a grease laden donut, causes sever problems resulting in total lack of sleep. Maybe my headache wouldn't be as severe if I'd slept last night! Oh well, just moan a bit longer, the medicine should kick in soon. And I did begin to feel it kick in. The pain lessened enough that I didn't have to moan anymore. I think I actually began to fall asleep when suddenly something in my stomach DROPPED. Ooooo, this was not good. Now if I moved my stomach reacted violently and my head was still pounding.

I'll spare you the details. I just have to say that this has to have been one of the worst physical experiences I have ever endured.