There is a particular thing that I have struggled with all of my adult life. Okay, not a "thing" but a "sin". I know God has tried to work with me on it. I know with certainty that there were times while I was being tempted that God quietly asked me "Should you be doing this?" or reminded me "You don't want to do this anymore, remember?" but I chose to ignore Him and go ahead with what I wanted to do. I did want to stop committing the sin, but I thought tomorrow would be a better time to stop than today. My Mom has told me that when God wants to teach you a lesson He begins gently. Each time you resist the next lesson gets more difficult. Even knowing that I kept choosing tomorrow to change. I guess I proved to God that I wasn't willing to make this change, so He has stepped in and is now forcing the change on me. Yet I do not feel that I have been taken behind the proverbial woodshed. Instead I actually feel content. This must be what it is like for a child who needs to know their boundaries. I have been allowed to wander way outside of my boundaries and I felt awful out there. Now that the boundaries have been fenced I feel happier, safe and secure.
I was thinking last week about the word content. It has always had a very negative connotation to me. It was a command. "You must be CONTENT!" Apparently I do not like being commanded to do things. But suddenly I realized that I am feeling content, and it feels good! Thank you God!
On another note: I am threatening to become domestic. I have been hungry for enchiladas but cannot find soft corn tortillas in any of the stores around here. So the idea hit me that I could probably make my own. I mean, I make lefse pretty successfully and the concept had to be pretty similar! So I found a recipe for corn tortillas and went to work last week. As I was churning out the tortillas I was thinking "This is going to be a disaster. These don't look anything like the tortillas I used to buy." I tasted one and it didn't taste particularly good. But I had all of the other ingredients ready to go, so decided to forge ahead with my plan and hope the dinner would at least be edible. (This is not a joke! I have made many dinners that have had to go into the garbage because they were truly not edible!) For clarification, my enchilada recipe gives the option of rolling them (traditional) or layering everything in a pan. I have always layered it because it's just easier. So I also call this dish Mexican lasagna. To my complete amazement, this was the best Mexican lasagna I have EVER made. It was fabulous! The difference must be my homemade tortillas. Who'd have guessed?
So this morning I made homemade doughnuts. Another huge success. Yum!
Tonight I will be making beef roast. Chances are good my successful domestic streak is going to come to a screeching halt. This is one of those things that has gone into the garbage. More than once.
Love in Christ,